Sometimes we have things happen to us in life that completely change our outlook. Sometimes we go through things that seem to create a fear inside of us where we get up on the couch, get busy, and change our lives for the better. That happened to me this year. I was given the choice to either get up and get active or to die a slow death filled with unhealthy living. I got up off the couch, whipped myself into shape, started experiencing more and more of the outdoors in different ways and then was presented a dreamy opportunity. Hiking is part of my weekly regimen, but backpacking was something that I had dreamed of and those dreams were about to come true.

Jon approached me in September at a Middle School volleyball game. I was working security and his daughter was playing. After the game, he started up a conversation about my weight loss and backpacking. We had both had conversations about travel and the outdoors but this was different. He became inquisitive as to what I had planned for the fall and then popped the question…would you be interested in going on a backpacking trip? I tried to hide the excitement on my face like a five year old who had just received a pony for Christmas, but it was hard. I told him I would be honored and so excited! He stated that he and a group of friends had backpacked for years. They had separated and life had gotten in the way in recent years, but they were planning to get back together and do a few sections of the Ozark Highlands Trail. He said he would make sure it would be ok with the others and get back to me. A few days passed, and I was voted in. I felt like I had just won the Bachelor. I was pretty pumped to say the least. He continued with letting me know the dates they had planned so I could try to get off of work as it we would be leaving on a Friday morning and returning Sunday. Three days later, my vacation was approved and I was in like a fat guy bellying up to a buffet. I could not be more excited.

Prep time was fun. I am a gear junkie so that was cool researching all the new cool gear and upgrading my current setup to ensure I was comfortable and had the time of my life (and did not die). I worked on preparing for several weeks, but the time finally came for us to meet up and head out to the Ozark Highlands Trail.

It was Friday morning, October 21, 2022. We were to meet at James’ house around Mayflower at 8:30 a.m. I was the first to arrive. James is a very interesting and extremely intelligent man and I had only had conversation with him via email as I had with the other person in the group whom I only knew as Chad. As I pulled up past the horse gate and into the top tier of the driveway, James met me at the car. He was so excitable and very full of life. He introduced himself as did I and he had me follow him into the house while he made the final preparations for getting his gear together. I do not understand people such as this. This is not just the final hour, the final minutes before we leave, and yet he still does not have his gear together? He gathered a few things, talked of his love for HAM Radio and ultra-trail running. As we talked back in the driveway (James toting his (what looked like a) century old external frame backpack), a black Tundra pulled into the bottom tier. This burly young man exited and gave James a big hug as if they had not seen each other in years, and come to find out they had not. I introduced myself to Chad and then became immersed in the homecoming conversation of two friends reunited after a long separation. A few minutes went by and Jon (the only one I knew personally) arrived on the scene. He lived closer than any of us, and arrived last, but he was the one that set us straight an on point. We had a long way to go and a short time to get there, so we all, under his direction, put our heads together, decided who would be driving, and who each one would be riding with. Chad and James both have computer-programming backgrounds, had a lot to talk about, so I rode with Jon. I loaded up my pack in his truck and Chad loaded his in James Chevrolet Volt and we headed north.

Jon and I had talked a few times, before this moment, but we had never been in a space with just he and I for a long period of time. The drive from Mayflower to Big Flat would be almost two hours so we definitely could get to know each other before our arrival. Conversations ranged from “have you backpacked before” to world travel, then headed off into relationships and the love for the outdoors. Jon is a counselor and owns his own counseling service in our hometown so I know he likes to talk and to dig into people’s lives. I also know that his wife (whom I work with at the school) has told me he loves to get away from it all and just get a break, so I steered clear of asking advice or seeking any kind help for personal mental health. It was just nice, casual conversation. He and I have a lot in common, so I really enjoyed this time. I believe we hit it off pretty well.

A call came over the radio. James needed a bathroom break. The likely stopping point was Leslie and chose the place. Serenity Farms Bread is right on Highway 65. They offer breakfast goodies, coffee, really cool food and homemade trinkets from around the area, and clean restrooms. It was perfect. We stopped in, grabbed a refill on coffee, had more “catch up” conversations and enjoyed this quaint little stopping place. A few minutes went by and we came back to reality. We still had a ways to go and needed to refill on fuel before proceeding much further into the Arkansas “nowhere zone.” We headed back out to the vehicles and proceeded to the nearest “stop and rob.” After a quick fill and conversation on the price of gas, we were back on the road, heading to our first destination.

After traveling through many small towns, seeing sights, and talking of the changing of the fall colors, we pulled into what would be our final destination of our hike, the Brush Creek Trailhead of the Ozark Highlands Trail. Fortunately, in planning, I downloaded all of the Ozark Highlands Trail sections onto my phone from the Alltrails app just in case we all separated and I needed to know my location. Here, we dropped James car off and all piled into Jon’s truck. Next stop was to off-load and stage our five gallons of water (James filled a five gallon pickle bucket from Firehouse Subs with well water) at the beginning of the second section of our hike. The second section, beginning at Moccasin Springs Trailhead would be right when we crossed over the highway and finish on the east side. James and Jon offloaded the water out of the truck and hid it in the woods safely off the trail, along with a charging bank for their phones and satellite communications. After covering it with a trash bag, leaves and limbs, we returned to the truck and headed to our starting point.

My anxiety was peaking at this point. In just eight short miles down a dirt road, we would unload, dawn our packs and start our journey. Was I ready? Did I have everything I needed or was something forgotten in the floor of my bedroom? Was I in good enough shape to keep up or would I fall back and make the others wait? All of these questions ran through my mind as we eased toward our start. I calmed down convincing myself of my intricate preparation and tried to replenish the void of stress and anxiety with excitement for the journey.

We arrived at Spring Creek Trailhead. We were here. It is time. My stomach was in knots as if I had just stuffed 5 gallons of ice cream into my lactose intolerant body. I was cramping and we had not even used a muscle. I unloaded my pack out of the back of the truck. Wow, it seemed to be much heavier than when I put loaded it this morning. I retrieved my chest pack out of the front of the truck and checked the contents. Weapon, nose spray, cell phone, knife, snacks and chargers were all there. It was not too heavy, about 3 lbs., and helped to add weight to my front and balance me out on the trail. I was ready. I just felt it. I was confident in my preparation and felt overcome with excitement.

Jon pulled his pack to the tailgate. It was not even packed. Yeah, I know these guys are seasoned veterans and they have done this many times before, but this was a telltale sign of just how different we all were. Chad was ready. He is a minimalist as is James. Their packs were light, stating they were somewhere between 20 and 25 lbs. That put their packs about 10 lbs. lighter than mine. Really? What in the world could I have done differently? I seriously need to think on this.

James looked at my pack admiring the newness and quality. He made a comment about how nice my items were. I stated that I had recently upgraded several things and wanted to make sure I had everything I needed. He volunteered to take my photo by the sign. I wanted this memory. This was a milestone in my life and I am glad to share it with these newfound friends. They were here for the experience. Gear was not their thing. They wanted to get away from their homes and work and just experience the outdoors. I respect that. I love that. I want to be that person, but I am not…to a point.

My mantra…my desire…

I love the gear and the experience. The two become one with me. One is the fulfillment and one is the highway of comfort to get there. In saying that, nothing can replace the experience. You can have all the gear in the world, the best gear, the latest and greatest, the lightest and the fastest…but if it only sits at home on the shelf, in the floor or the closet, then you are missing the point. You are missing out. Nothing can replace the experience. Nothing can replace the memories that the gear helps to provide. Nothing … And that was what I longed for. I wanted the memories. I wanted to reach the end to say, “I did that!” I wanted to get to the finish line and have the satisfaction of knowing that I did something I really did not think I could do, and definitely could not do just a few months ago. THAT is what my desire was.

Jon was ready. A couple Arkansas Game and Fish Officers pulled up to check on us. Yes, we have enough water. Thank you for asking. No, we are not hunting, just backpacking. I think they were surprised to see someone leaving from this point. This was not a popular section of the OHT to hike apparently. They pulled off in a cloud of dust. We dawned our packs and headed toward the trailhead. My blood was pumping. Gathering one last time for a group “before the trip” selfie, we laughed and talked. Conversations about life and how hard this possibly could be since “we haven’t done this in forever…” rang through the woods. Most of the leaves had fallen. They were beautiful.

I was ready. I kept telling myself. You will be fine. I am not very convincing, but nevertheless HERE WE GO!